I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Farmville is her only friend.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
