You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize