I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
