Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
