i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
