ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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