dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
