I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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