Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
