A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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