I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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