Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I would ride that face into the sunset
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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