I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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