O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
