I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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