Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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