So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
