areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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