I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
