I just saw a hot homeless man
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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