woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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