So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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