I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
