he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize