Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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