I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
