I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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