I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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