i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
