guys are not supposed to queef...right?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
