you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
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