I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
