So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
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And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
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Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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