there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
