Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
