it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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