Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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