Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
