i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
