I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
