I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
