piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize