my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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