so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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