lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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