You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
