you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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