My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
