I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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