He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
