so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
