ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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