And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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