They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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