Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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