I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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