Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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