new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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