I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize