i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize